What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I have so many feelings about this burrito
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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