Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
