I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
