i think i have two assholes
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
