Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize