he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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