he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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