KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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