And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
