i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize