your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
