so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
