remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Everything about him screamed your future.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
So much rum. So many feels.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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