I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
