lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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