I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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