I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
