I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
