what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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