Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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