You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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