I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
