He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
