Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize