Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
