I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
So much rum. So many feels.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
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