K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
