Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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