Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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