remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize