i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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