We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
