you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
