its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
