How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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