If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
