In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
