good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
