That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
