1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
