No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
