no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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