I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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