Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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