Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
