It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
