brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
