Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
