My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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