So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I pour the whiskey from now on
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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