I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
