it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
