Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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