u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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