Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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