Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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