I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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