ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
