Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I intend to get homeless drunk
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Randomize
