Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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