Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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