So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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