Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
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