Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
