Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She bit a glass in half.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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