It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
