He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
