you would pick up someone in the library
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize